Looking at the Big Picture

These last two weeks have been pretty difficult. Eating off plan led to a huge flare up and a crazy rash on my arm and neck. I also swelled and gained weight. All a recipe for disaster for someone who was going to do their first show in October. Was. I've been mad at myself which led to more off plan eating and a fabulous pity party for one. 

But something cool happened today that really got me thinking. I had run out of my arthritis shots and needed to order a new prescription. It's quite a ridiculous ordeal to go through (thank you insurance company for my lack of choice) and they brought to my attention that I had not ordered my medication since last December. That was 9 months ago. Then it clicked. I haven't needed to take my weekly injections, weekly!  I was able to make four shots last 9 months. For me, that's amazing!!  As silly as it may sound, it gave me hope. It proves that my clean eating and working out really makes a difference. It also means I need to get my behind in gear and stick with clean eating. I've worked hard to not let my disease define me, but lately it's been kicking my rear. Clean eating works and its up to me to get my act together. I have a goal before me and its time to head in that direction. Motivation can be hard sometimes, but I can't argue with the facts. I simply feel better when I eat right.  Here's to a better tomorrow!

Accepting Things We Cannot Change...

A FB athlete posted that on her page this morning. I heard it last night while out with friends. Change cannot happen until we have acceptance over the uncontrollable things in our lives. 

I have had to learn this the hard way and I just get frustrated with myself because of it. I met with my prep coach yesterday and the decision was made- no show in October. I truly have no one to blame but myself. But more so, I need to accept the fact that I have an autoimmune disease. And like it or not, I have certain limitations in my life. My disease does not control me, but I can make better choices to prevent it from rearing it's ugly head. 

Case in point...last week was a pretty stressful week. Mistake number 1. It has been pointed out to me that I get a little squirrelly at the beginning of every school year. Nothing new for the last 15+ years. I didn't prepare for it. Add in a few extra life situations and I fell apart. I ate off plan. Not once. Not twice. Several times. For some competitors, it's a small setback. You just get back on track and carry on. This is where the acceptance part comes in. I am not a typical competitor. I have rheumatoid arthritis. I am allergic to gluten. Prior to this training adventure, I was tired all the time. My joints constantly flared. My weight ran high. I just assumed this was my life a s took my meds and shots and just went with it. 

Here's what I learned. When I eat clean and I remove foods with histamines and gluten, my body THRIVES!  My joints don't swell. My weight drops. My energy levels soar. I really feel like a million dollars. So you would think, why would you go back?  This is where it gets tricky. I get a false sense of security- I can have a little. It's ok. So on my weekly treat meals, I would indulge. At first, no problem. Then the more I added things back in, flare ups were more frequent. Now I am experiencing worse symptoms than ever- my body swells. I break out in rashes, and I get tired and lethargic.  

So, it's time. I have to accept that I cannot eat those things and reach those goals I have been aspiring to- like competing on stage. This is a setback. A key life lesson. A chance for me to learn, climb back up and be better. Listen to your body. Accept what God has given you and work with it. Use it to your benefit, not your detriment. Today is a new day.